One of my former - and most influential - teachers recommended to me not so long ago that I should make an effort to reach out to the librarians in my local high schools to come out and do an "author talk" with the students at the schools not only to do some grassroots marketing for myself but also to talk to students about believing and being dedicated to your dreams. I thought that was a brilliant idea - thanks Penny - and reached out to two of them - the high school in the town I live in and the high school I graduated from.
Today, I visited Highland High School and met with a number of the English classes throughout the day. It was a weird experience, walking into a high school as an adult. Granted, I had never entered Highland High School but it felt like a regular high school. I had that immediate feeling of "Where the hell am I supposed to go" and thankfully had Shayne with me (though she didn't know where to go either) to keep my paranoia to a manageable level. After signing in at the office and heading toward the library, I met with Linda Bailey, the school librarian, who made the experience such a fantastic one I don't even have words. She was a delight to talk to and was so welcoming and kind. She helped me at every turn today, from keeping conversation going during the talks when things got quiet to giving me grand introductions to each set of classes to ordering lunch for us and giving me a beautiful plant as a thank you. So huge thanks go directly to Linda for that.
I have to admit to being completely terrified at the prospect of speaking to the students. Shayne's advice was wise - show no fear. They'll smell it like blood in the water. I tried very hard not to present myself as about to pass out. Not sure how successful I was in that but at least I didn't pass out or do anything to completely embarrass myself. When I did the book signing at Barnes & Noble and spoke in front of adults it was nerve wracking but nowhere near as much as talking to teenagers. At 35, I'm not considered old to my peers. To someone who's 16 or 17, I'm positively aged. Coming off like an old person who has no idea about being a teenager was a big fear. Couple that with the fact that my book isn't geared toward that audience and you have a recipe for me to be in a complete state of panic.
I think I pulled it off for the most part. I tried to speak honestly about writing in general, about the book, about how to get published and the things to watch out for, about the work that I've done since. I was amazed that some of them asked questions, amazed at the level of interest some of the students showed. I got to meet and talk with some of the English teachers and that was beyond wonderful. One of them is the mom of one of my son's schoolmates, which was also pretty cool.
Today, out of all of the days I have officially been a "published author", has been the biggest honor and the biggest success. One student asked me for my autograph. Another had actually read my blog before I came to speak at the school and asked me about it. That blew me away.
It all blew me away.
Two girls stayed after their class was over to talk to me about writing and about reading.
Some of the theater kids did an improv skit of part of the book. It was amazing. They all so accurately captured the tone and feel of the book that it almost brought me to tears there in the library.
I came away from today not feeling so much like an old fart in their eyes. Well, at least to some of them, if not all.
After I got home tonight from running errands, I got my biggest treat of the day and what I consider the embodiment of today's success. One of the two students who stayed after to talk to me commented on my previous blog about Legacy and it brought me to tears.
Out of all of these kids (and I say "kids" with the utmost respect), I got through to at least one. One of them listened and understood and *heard* what I was saying. I walk away from this experience with such a sense of honor that I don't really know how to accurately describe it. In some small way, without fame or fortune or fanfare, I left a mark, however tiny, on another person. To me, that's the greatest success I could imagine coming out of today. I hope that my next experience when I go back to my high school to speak to the students goes as well as today.
I could not have asked for anything more. To each student who sat and listened today - whether I held your interest or not - thank you for being there, for being patient and for listening to what I had to say and for being respectful. It was appreciated. For every student who asked a question, who had an interest - I hope what I had to say was helpful. Maybe it gave some of you hope that one day, the dreams you hold in your heart can come true. And they can. The key to making those dreams come true is you and your belief in yourself and your determination. For those students who talked to me after your obligatory time spent with me, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to talk to you further and personally. Thanks to Shayne for being my "handler" and keeping me in coffee and water and not punching me in the mouth for occasionally putting her on the spot during my talks and for being a fabulous BFF. To the Highland High School, Linda Bailey (especially!) and the wonderful teachers I met today, thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk to you and to the students. I am honored beyond words, from the bottom of my heart.
