This most recent loss has me thinking about legacy, about what we leave behind when we're gone for those who knew us to remember us by.
Today, in honor of the contribution my former teacher made not only to my life but to the lives of his other students, I created a group on Facebook where friends, family and former students could share their memories of this tremendous man.
I started the group in the afternoon and now, about six hours later, the group stands with over 230 members. 230.
This man, this one man has left an indellible mark on all of those 230 people.
What will I leave behind when I'm gone?
What will you?
What actions, what kindness, what characteristics are there within us, that define us to leave a mark on those who knew us? On those who knew us best? On those who barely knew us at all?
At the end of your life – what will people say about you?
Will your lasting impression be your wardrobe, your impeccable hair, the cars you drove, the job that you held? Will it be the charities you gave your time and money to? Will it be the impact you had on your children? Will it be narrow-mindedness and hubris?
I wonder what they will say about me. What will my son take away from the years he had with me?
I want to be good. That’s all. I want to be a good person. I want to help those who need helping. I want to guide my son to be a good person, to listen to those who need to be heard, to reach out a hand to those who are slipping. I want him to understand that one of the most important things in this world is to be present.
Will your lasting impression be your wardrobe, your impeccable hair, the cars you drove, the job that you held? Will it be the charities you gave your time and money to? Will it be the impact you had on your children? Will it be narrow-mindedness and hubris?
I wonder what they will say about me. What will my son take away from the years he had with me?
I want to be good. That’s all. I want to be a good person. I want to help those who need helping. I want to guide my son to be a good person, to listen to those who need to be heard, to reach out a hand to those who are slipping. I want him to understand that one of the most important things in this world is to be present.
Know what’s going on around you with the people around you. Know what’s going on with the people you love, the people closest to you. Don’t believe your own shit. Stop thinking that your crap is the most important crap out there. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.
I want to be at peace with the fact that, when it’s my time to go, I did the absolute best I could to be there, to be an anchor for someone who needed it at the time. And I don’t mean this in a preachy, holier-than-thou kind of way. I’m not holier-than-thou, far from it. I’m pretty cantankerous and mean and occasionally petty with a bad temper but I’m there at the end of the phone when someone needs me.
I might be a grump; I just want to be a good grump. I’m flawed but hey, I’m honest about it.
I believe situations like this - losing someone who was important to so many - should give us all pause. It should make us more conscious, more cognizant of our daily actions. It should make us want to be better people. It should make us more aware of our own mortality.
The sand still runs through the hourglass whether we're thinking about it or not. Our days are all numbered. I'd like to think that as my sand trickles down, I'm doing my best to be good to those I love. And to also be good to those I don't love.
I don't think this should be done out of selfishness or out of vanity but to just be, when you get down to the meat of it, good people.
I've lost a lot in my life and those losses make me appreciate what I still have even more...and those losses make me work all the harder to be good to those around me.
I don't need to touch 230 lives, the way Mr. D did. If I can touch one life, if I can be good to one person, truly good, and make a difference, then my life was a success. Then I can be content with my legacy.
Maybe we should all think a little bit harder about what our legacy would be. Because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow.
Let's try to be better today.
Hi Jennifer L. Place! I was the student at highland that mentioned your blog and talked to you afterwards! I have to admit that I haven't read Second Chances yet but I will get it from the library as soon as I can.
ReplyDeleteI was actually very shocked after I read Legacy. You mentioned how you use the blog to rant about the things that you just need to get out of your system. Well, I do exactly the same thing, but with a journal. I wrote something like this a long time ago.
I remember coming back from school 2 years ago when there was an assembly about this boy who had commited suicide because people were making fun of him at school. He was bullied till no end. He was tortured just because he wasn't like everybody else. I remember getting on the bus and crying because I know what it feels like to be bullied. Maybe not to the extent to which this boy was bullied but I do know the feeling. From then on, I vowed to never prejudge anyone. I read somewhere that you should treat everyone like idiots until they prove themselves otherwise. I turned this saying backwards and promised myself that I would treat everyone equally and kindly unless they prove themselves otherwise.
My purpose on this earth is to give to those who need my help. It could be my best friend who needs help studying or it could be the children in Japan who are suffering. I have watched all of thos around me who shun people for being who they are. Three years ago, if I saw a person being bullied, I watched from the sidelines, feeling very sad for the person. Now, I would stop the bully, one way or another. I wouldn't even care if the bully is my best friend; I would tell them to their face that what they are doing is wrong.
What does a person get from being mean? I can never understand that. Why does a person judge another person by the color of their skin, their clothes, the way they look, or even if they have tatoos or not?! Does having a tatoo make you bad?
People's brain are very complex. Sometimes, this can be a bad thing or a good thing. The world is not split into bad people and good people. A person can't be defined as good or bad. A person is both. Nobody is perfect. It just depends on what side of you comes out more often. I am a grump, like The Grinch grump. I am very moody and unpredictable. However, I still like helping others out, even if i don't get anything in return. Why? Because it makes my heart happy, knowing that I just helped a person who is in desperate need. I know what it is like to feel as if no one is out there to help you. To feel like there is no light in a place where there is only darkness. I want to be there for anybody who needs me. At the same time, I want to do as I please. I am both giving and selfish. I am not a saint. I am not a meany.
Quoting J.F. Kennedy (sort of): Don't ask what someone can do for you. Ask yourself what you can do for them.
Thanks for visiting my school! I thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to reading all of your books! Sorry that my post is so long. I just had to get this out somehow.
Sincerely---Pri T.
Pri - First off - thank you so very much for commenting and for the great conversation. Of course I remember you from today - even though there were so many people to keep track of for me and I was terrified and overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI have to commend you for being brave to want to stand up when you know something wrong is being done and being wise enough to know that you can do for yourself and do for others.
Keep writing. Keep journaling. Keep getting your thoughts out in whatever way works for you. They're great thoughts, Pri. And one person can make a difference. They are not always differences that change the world or turn it on its ear, but you don't necessarily do that. If you can make a difference to one person, that's a success. That's a mark, a legacy, and a commendable one.
I do have to admit that when I first read your comment, it made me cry. It made me cry in a good way - that out of all of the students I spoke to today, that what I was trying to say got through to at least one - you - and to me, all of the time I spent there today was a success. Thank you so much for your words and for sharing those thoughts. I am immeasurably touched and honored that you shared that.
I'm sorry that you know what being bullied feels like. It's an epidemic that's gone on for more years than anyone can count and I think it's high time the proper amount of attention be paid to it - and that kids start standing up for other kids. People can be mean, there's no doubt about that. It's especially hard as you're growing up because there's a constant war going on inside everyone's heads to measure up and stand out and like I said today - being a teenager pretty much sucks. I remember.
I respect the hell out of you for your stance on bullying and for just doing your best to be a good person. I'm so very thankful that I had the opportunity to meet you and talk to you today. Read Second Chances when you want - or don't read it - talking to you today was so much more important to me than that, truly. Keep reading. Keep writing. Believe in the person you are and the person you want to be and the world will take notice.
Thank you again, Pri. A thousand times over. You absolutely made my day - and made today a complete success for me. I hope you keep reading the blog, you can find me on Goodreads or on Facebook and I'm going to add my email address to the blog webpage shortly. I'd love to hear from you in the future about what you're reading or writing or whatever, or if you're looking for information about writing. Feel free to contact me anytime. Hopefully I'll come back to the high school again one day and talk to the students again (and hopefully be less nervous that time!)
I'm a dummy and just realized my email address is at the top of the page!
ReplyDelete